Unconditional Love

I was in my 30's when we lost Toby, my son's 2-year-old dog. Franky, 10, and Toby were inseparable best friends. She was an inside dog and only allowed to play in the back yard. She was not accustomed to the craziness of the outside world. On this particular day, Toby was excited to know Franky was home from school and ran outside to meet him. Franky called her name, unknowingly placing her right in front of an oncoming vehicle. The impact was loud, but my son's screams linger in my mind even today. "Mom, Toby!!! Mom, Toby!!!" I ran outside, went to Toby and picked her up, held her in my arms and repeated the same cry over and over, "I'm sorry Toby!" I was there to see the paling of her eyes as she died. We were heart-broken and missing a very important part of our family. The driver of the car had fled and we were devastated at what Toby had suffered. We had a funeral for Toby and we all said our goodbyes. Franky gave a heart-wrenching farewell to his baby. She holds a very dear place in our hearts. Since Toby's death I have never been the same. I realized that our pets are a part of our family and that to lose them could be psinful.

Many years before I had lost Rex, my dog and best friend. At just 7 years of age I lost Rex, my white shaggy dog. He was my world, my best bud. One day I got home from school and he was nowhere to be seen. I waited, rationalized what I could in my young mind, waited some more. Everyday I would come home expecting to find him waiting. I gather my parents could not handle it anymore and made up a story for my sake. My mother said that they had received word that Rex had fallen in love with a beautiful girl dog. He did not come home , they said, because he now had babies and could not come back to me. They reassured me a few times that he was happy in his new home and eventually I stopped asking. However,  I never let another dog become significant in my life again until Toby. 

I came across a very special something today that I believe many animal lovers will understand. I wanted to share these words because they so precisely reflect the transformation that loving my dogs has brought into my life. It is painful to lose them, but they add such love and joy to our lives.

The passage read:

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are." -Unknown

Titan 2-months-old

Mr. Nibbles came into our lives a few months after Toby's loss and helped us heal a little. He was just a baby when we got him. We all needed to fill the void and embraced him with all our hearts. He turned 2-years-old today. We celebrated his birthday with our new family member Titan (Pictured above).

Mr. Nibbles 2-years-old

Mom, dad, two brothers, sister, and our 2 dogs and 4 cats. We are all very happy at this time. Do we look forward to saying goodbye to one of our loved ones? Of course not. I love every single member of my family including my furry babies. We share a bond that is unexplainable. It took almost three decades of my life to find this special love for animals again after losing Rex. I'm making up for it every day with my babies now.  Not only do we love them, but they provide us with an unconditional love that is impermeable and makes us feel complete.

-In memory of Tobilias Zaragoza aka Toby. Thank you Toby for all the love you gave us.